A3 – Originator Inc. – by Tiffany Tseng

FEEDBACK: Your elevator pitch is very interesting, that I thought it is a real venture. The venture pitch is good, but the website delivery method is inferior to video, so you should have recorded video with narration. That way your passion about the venture and energy radiated would be better transferred to investors. Otherwise, the investors have to scroll the pages and read, so there is a risk that they will not connect and pick up all your ideas well. Toward the end you slipped from selling the idea of real venture into the fiction mode, so it may repel the investors. Anyway, your hook is good and if the venture pitch was delivered in the same manner and medium, it would have been much easier to sell. You coverage of competitors is not well done, You should side by side compare your product with competitors. $1M ask seems to much for that kind of venture, and you did not provide details of use of proceedings, living that unclear to investors. Fix it a bit and it may be not only a good fictional venture pitch, but also build the real venture based on that. I hope this feedback will be useful to you. Regards, Milorad.

Feedback: Tiffany, loved your enthusiasm in your elevator pitch, it is not easy to speak for one minute on a venture product! You were very convincing and I wanted to learn more about your product. Your weebly site was well organized, easy to navigate and had the research to back up the current business problem. In your pitch, stressing the competitive edge ORIGINATOR would bring would interest an investor as well as your revenue model and how you expect to make money. If you want to cater to more investors learning styles, you could also add more visuals or audio to your weebly site. Well done!

Feedback:Tiffany you well stated the problem. As an EVA, I like that you included facts which made your case strong. Your presentation on weebly was well organized. The use of 5 W’s made it simple and easy to navigate. Your explanation of how your training consultants will help the companies was comprehensive. In your elevator pitch you look very confident and positive. While analyzing critically as an EVA, your competitive framework and your “ask” needs more depth and detail as it looks uninspiring. Overall great work !!!

Feedback: Very easy to understand pitch and elevator speech. Your directness is a strength. I think it would be interesting to include some mention of how the money is to be used as well as what the possible returns to the investors are. The site was easy to understand and navigate through. Perhaps some more images of the management team or even 'mock' product images would give an even more easier way to understand the product. Good job.

FEEDBACK - I like your elevator pitch! Your friendliness and enthusiasm draw the audience into what you want to say about your product. I also like the way you have structured your venture pitch around the what, who, why and so on because it makes it easy to follow along. Another strength is how you've matched the target market sector with the know-how of your team, e.g., understanding of the North American and East Asian markets. I would have liked to see a real physical address of your company rather than a 1-800 number to lend some credibility to your team. How would I know it is not a scam? :) I also felt that the last couple of pages could have been more substantial. The other thing is for more stringent proofreading. Examples: Capilano University, not Universrty, Korea, not Korean. Overall, well done and I enjoyed it.

Review: Well done! You covered all the basis of your pitch clearly and succinctly. I did wonder how your new venture relates to your old. How does experience with children’s app inform what you are going to do now? You venture site was cleanly design, easy to navigate and clearly outlined your intent. I was able to understand the problem and your solution but my question of how your previous successful venture impacts this. You might want to talk about the lessons you’ve learned from the previous work, or that you are going to use some of the technology you develop to build out courses or perhaps, some gamification that you created through your children’s apps that apply to the new venture. I’d be upfront about it. “You might be asking yourself, what do children’s apps have to do with employee training programs? More than you might think! Let me explain…” Overall an excellent job. You were great on camera and believable! Nicely done.

I was really impressed with your elevator pitch. I liked the tone and it was well organized. Your presence in the video shows confidence and passion for your product. It made me think that you would be a valuable person to get involved with in a business venture. James.

FEEDBACK - I really enjoyed the clarity and enthusiasm of your voice in your elevator pitch. It sounded like Originator was successful as it was easy to use, interactive and mobile...I would maybe highlight that a bit to explain why Originator is crossing into professional development training. I really liked the pacing of your pitch as well, I think calmness shows confidence!

FEEDBACK- Your elevator pitch was very professional and informative. You sounded very confident and it got my attention. Just from your elevator pitch, I was intrigued to learn more about Originator Inc. Great work!

REVIEW: Tiffany, your elevator pitch was excellent. You spoke very calmly and clearly, and came across as professional and enthusiastic. It was very engaging to watch, and as a potential investor, I wanted to know more because you compelled me to seek out your venture pitch. You venture pitch is also clear, and the information is easy to find. You clearly explain the pain point, and why your solution will help. I think what really makes your company stand out is the commitment to ongoing support, detailed as “before, during and after.” This approach builds relationships with the client and assures customer retention. You have built a strong management team with global experience. This will assure investors that you have the experience and knowledge to expand through the global marketplace. I like that you have outlines where your product will be initially rolled out, and that it builds on an existing client base. A suggestion I have is that you should further describe how you are piloting your solution to test company. Use this opportunity to discuss all of the wonderful things these test companies are saying. Finally, as an investor, I need you to expand on your “ask”. What are you using the $1 million for? This information will go a long way in convincing the investor that you have a viable and responsible plan. Also, describing how the investor will get a return on the investment would make me much more inclined to give you my hard-earned money. Great work Tiffany!