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Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

By Shane Turner on August 3, 2014

Hello everyone,

Here are the links for my A3 company pitches.

I have chosen to create a fictional company that creates a cross platform application for student journaling. I have seen this as a need in my school.

Visi Journals – Elevator pitch can be found here: http://goo.gl/IEwfXr

Visi Journals – Venture pitch can be found here: http://goo.gl/MCWEuX

 

This is the first time I have used the app, so I hope it turned out ok.

Thanks

Shane

 

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10 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

I like your use of PowToon! Your Elevator pitch is short and sweet and to the point. I like the voice over as I felt that you did a good job showing emotion through your voice. I like the visuals and attractiveness of PowToon! Your Venture pitch was equally as enjoyable. I felt your pitch was engaging and selling. You gave adequate information and examples about your product. My only suggestion would be that the background music drowns out your voice over. You could do without the extra music in my opinion. Otherwise a job well done! :)

10 Aug
0 Thumbs Up!
karalea @karalea

I like your use of PowToon! Your Elevator pitch is short and sweet and to the point. I like the voice over as I felt that you did a good job showing emotion through your voice. I like the visuals and attractiveness of PowToon! Your Venture pitch was equally as enjoyable. I felt your pitch was engaging and selling. You gave adequate information and examples about your product. My only suggestion would be that the background music drowns out your voice over. You could do without the extra music in my opinion. Otherwise a job well done! :)

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8 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

Feedback: Hi Shane, Thanks for sharing your venture pitch/elevator pitch. You have a good idea here that is definitely relevant for the modern day classroom/teacher/student. A few thoughts: the music in your video was a little too loud and it was difficult to hear your voice over the background sounds. I am wondering how your product is different from the existing blogging platforms out there? Are you re-defining the blog by bringing back the idea of the journal? To me, your idea is good but you need to explain how Visi Journal is different and what the current market is like for this type of product. Thanks so much for sharing!

8 Aug
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jennypapadakis @jennypapadakis

Feedback: Hi Shane, Thanks for sharing your venture pitch/elevator pitch. You have a good idea here that is definitely relevant for the modern day classroom/teacher/student. A few thoughts: the music in your video was a little too loud and it was difficult to hear your voice over the background sounds. I am wondering how your product is different from the existing blogging platforms out there? Are you re-defining the blog by bringing back the idea of the journal? To me, your idea is good but you need to explain how Visi Journal is different and what the current market is like for this type of product. Thanks so much for sharing!

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7 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

Feedback: Shane, such an important tool. I could see the market opening up for your product among English language learners and even opening a market for multi-lingual visi journals! Wonderful idea! I enjoyed listening to your pitches, your voice is quite soothing. I enjoyed the way you captured our attention with your initial questions about the pain point and your solution. A greater in depth analysis of EVA critique and investment and revenue model on how VISIJournals would be marketable. A suggestion for your audio: the music in your elevator pitch made it difficult to hear your voice at times and there seemed to be a lag in between slides. Well done!

7 Aug
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leahbio @leahbio

Feedback: Shane, such an important tool. I could see the market opening up for your product among English language learners and even opening a market for multi-lingual visi journals! Wonderful idea! I enjoyed listening to your pitches, your voice is quite soothing. I enjoyed the way you captured our attention with your initial questions about the pain point and your solution. A greater in depth analysis of EVA critique and investment and revenue model on how VISIJournals would be marketable. A suggestion for your audio: the music in your elevator pitch made it difficult to hear your voice at times and there seemed to be a lag in between slides. Well done!

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6 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

FEEDBACK: Your voice is very pleasant and really perfect for pitches! Your main points are clear and easy to follow. I like how you have emphasized your product's strengths and how they provide a competitive edge over rival products in the market. I am very aware of the background music throughout your pitches, which means it is at times too loud and is competing for the audience's attention. Also, rather than reading word-for-word from the slides, you could perhaps shorten the text into succinct points on the slides.

6 Aug
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Kirsten @kng2013

FEEDBACK: Your voice is very pleasant and really perfect for pitches! Your main points are clear and easy to follow. I like how you have emphasized your product's strengths and how they provide a competitive edge over rival products in the market. I am very aware of the background music throughout your pitches, which means it is at times too loud and is competing for the audience's attention. Also, rather than reading word-for-word from the slides, you could perhaps shorten the text into succinct points on the slides.

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6 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

This is an interesting concept. I can see how it would be useful in an upper elementary classroom. As a teacher I would love to try it out. As was said below, you need to sell it more to investors than teachers. All of your information was good but it didn't answer questions that investors want to know. What is the competition? What are some numbers for the competition? What will your numbers look like? How will you get there? Otherwise, I enjoyed the presentation. It was concise, easy to follow, and you speak well. Good work.

6 Aug
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helder @helder

This is an interesting concept. I can see how it would be useful in an upper elementary classroom. As a teacher I would love to try it out. As was said below, you need to sell it more to investors than teachers. All of your information was good but it didn't answer questions that investors want to know. What is the competition? What are some numbers for the competition? What will your numbers look like? How will you get there? Otherwise, I enjoyed the presentation. It was concise, easy to follow, and you speak well. Good work.

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6 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

Feedback: Great name for your product! This is a great idea and you explained it well. I like the way you framed the problem and solution. I did find the pitch questions were more focused on the user than the investor. In my experience investors rarely “get” educational technology or what the true need is. An investor might not know what a journal is or even care. You’ll need to spell out how your tool will build 21st century skills, why students need to use multimedia tools and connect it to how this will improve business (better workers) and make them money. So rather than ask them questions (blue text) I'd make statements. "Students need to build 21st century skills to be competitive. Our tool integrates audio, video, images and text - essential for learnings as students move beyond the classroom but still need to work and collaborate with others virtually. Your video is well done! PowToon's is tricky to master but you did an excellent job. Someone mentioned the volume. You can reduce the volume of the audio so your voice is above it if needed. Again, well done.

6 Aug
0 Thumbs Up!
Kendra Grant @kendragrant

Feedback: Great name for your product! This is a great idea and you explained it well. I like the way you framed the problem and solution. I did find the pitch questions were more focused on the user than the investor. In my experience investors rarely “get” educational technology or what the true need is. An investor might not know what a journal is or even care. You’ll need to spell out how your tool will build 21st century skills, why students need to use multimedia tools and connect it to how this will improve business (better workers) and make them money. So rather than ask them questions (blue text) I'd make statements. "Students need to build 21st century skills to be competitive. Our tool integrates audio, video, images and text - essential for learnings as students move beyond the classroom but still need to work and collaborate with others virtually. Your video is well done! PowToon's is tricky to master but you did an excellent job. Someone mentioned the volume. You can reduce the volume of the audio so your voice is above it if needed. Again, well done.

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6 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

Feedback: Hi Shane, Thank you very much for the elevator pitch. On a presentation note, I found the background audio a bit loud which led to some competition between it and your voice. I would much rather hear you! The venture pitch was colorful and animated but also asked too many questions of the audience which took time and were left for the audience to answer. Perhaps a more direct approach would demonstrate the idea by outlining the whole idea clearly in the intro to the main presentation. As an investor I am not sure how this would make a return on my investment. This information would need to be added.

6 Aug
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maxim @maxim

Feedback: Hi Shane, Thank you very much for the elevator pitch. On a presentation note, I found the background audio a bit loud which led to some competition between it and your voice. I would much rather hear you! The venture pitch was colorful and animated but also asked too many questions of the audience which took time and were left for the audience to answer. Perhaps a more direct approach would demonstrate the idea by outlining the whole idea clearly in the intro to the main presentation. As an investor I am not sure how this would make a return on my investment. This information would need to be added.

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6 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

FEEDBACK - Hi Shane, I like the presentation concept of your elevator pitch. Content-wise I’m not how Visi Journals is unique or even better than comparable programs.Therefore, as an investor I cannot quickly envision making a huge profit when the market already seems saturated.

6 Aug
0 Thumbs Up!
Jonathan Lai @jlai32

FEEDBACK - Hi Shane, I like the presentation concept of your elevator pitch. Content-wise I’m not how Visi Journals is unique or even better than comparable programs.Therefore, as an investor I cannot quickly envision making a huge profit when the market already seems saturated.

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4 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

FEEDBACK: I liked your question approach. It was a great way to highlight your pain point and solution. The video was also nicely done. However, I have some questions: are you looking for an investor? what is the ask/return? I know it’s difficult to put all that in with a 1 minute time constraint, but I felt like your pitch gave me a general overview of the company and not a lot of information for investors.

4 Aug
0 Thumbs Up!
kgill @kuljinder

FEEDBACK: I liked your question approach. It was a great way to highlight your pain point and solution. The video was also nicely done. However, I have some questions: are you looking for an investor? what is the ask/return? I know it’s difficult to put all that in with a 1 minute time constraint, but I felt like your pitch gave me a general overview of the company and not a lot of information for investors.

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4 Aug Posted on Visi Journals – A3 Venture pitch

FEEDBACK - I like your elevator pitch, your question-based approach has me answering "yes" and drew me in! You clearly identify a need for Visi Journals, but it would be nice if we knew how the product would make money, how much of an investment you require & if the project is in development. It's a lot to fit in during 1 minute!

4 Aug
0 Thumbs Up!
KBurden @klburden

FEEDBACK - I like your elevator pitch, your question-based approach has me answering "yes" and drew me in! You clearly identify a need for Visi Journals, but it would be nice if we knew how the product would make money, how much of an investment you require & if the project is in development. It's a lot to fit in during 1 minute!

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