Dan Bosse, great work on the venture. I went the website route because I thought sustaining the energy for a full length pitch would be too difficult but you have done a nice job. Do you have access to a green screen?
Firstly, I like how you have introduced yourself immediately with a description of your credentials. As an investor, I am counting on you, and I quickly know why you are qualified to run this business. You go on to succinctly lay out the benefits of the telepresence venture. I can, by 2:10, know exactly why this product will be needed.
I think a real strength of your venture is the fact that you market to teachers and admin at the school level but also to the educational institutions. I work on the educational committee of an Aquarium and one perennial stumbling block is how to get the experience to the audience. So I see the need from a teacher’s point of view but also from that of the sites they wish to visit.
Another strength of your pitch is the detailed explanation of how it works, from the business, training, and logistics, to the credentialing and feedback on interpreters. You really seem to know this venture inside and out.
I think one weakness might be the lack of real or predicted numbers. You seem to understand revenue streams intimately and your apparent knowledge is reassuring to an amateur investor like myself, but if I were to invest, what are you asking and what am I to expect in return?
Lastly, your elevator pitch and long-form pitch are full of great images brought together with good editing, but from 3:10 onward your pitch consists of you speaking from that boardroom. Perhaps you could have broken up the last part of your pitch with some more images or figures.