FEEDBACK: Your elevator pitch is very interesting, that I thought it is a real venture. The venture pitch is good, but the website delivery method is inferior to video, so you should have recorded video with narration. That way your passion about the venture and energy radiated would be better transferred to investors. Otherwise, the investors have to scroll the pages and read, so there is a risk that they will not connect and pick up all your ideas well. Toward the end you slipped from selling the idea of real venture into the fiction mode, so it may repel the investors. Anyway, your hook is good and if the venture pitch was delivered in the same manner and medium, it would have been much easier to sell. You coverage of competitors is not well done, You should side by side compare your product with competitors. $1M ask seems to much for that kind of venture, and you did not provide details of use of proceedings, living that unclear to investors. Fix it a bit and it may be not only a good fictional venture pitch, but also build the real venture based on that. I hope this feedback will be useful to you. Regards, Milorad.