I think you have an incredible idea. You’ve really convinced me of the value of it. You have great presence and I am convinced you know what you’re talking about and I can trust you with my investment. There are a few technical issues that I think ultimately harm or distract from your pitch. The lighting and sound quality were a bit distracting.
I think some overall editing would help tighten up the pitch. Your elevator pitch is twice the length of what it should be. You also went over time on your full venture pitch. I think it’s really important to be concise. You have excellent ideas but I think they would be even more impactful if edited. A trick for doing this might be using visuals to summarize key points.