I think you have made a good case for the possibilities of using VR for career simulations for students. It makes sense that you suggest expanding it into more corporate training environments as well. There was a fair amount of feedback on your audio, you may be able to find software to clean that up. You also went a fair bit over time, so you could either cut some of the spaces between slides or cut out a few slides entirely. Practicing through the script a few more times may have also made the time a bit shorter and the overall delivery a bit smoother. I like the idea and think you have a solid plan for rolling it out!